Thought of the day:

Over the last few months I have seen and read increasing articles, statistics, and books regarding working moms, women in the workplace, and women that choose to stay at home and raise their children. It boggles me that so many people feel the need to criticize, analyze, and debate individual career, parenting, and life choices that are not their own. I wish we lived in a world that you could be respected and not scrutinized for the choices you make. I also have come to learn that a lot of that debate on this topic comes from the insecurities of each woman absorbing this information, and then feeling the need to defend their own career and family decisions. I have 110% respect for each individual choice made . I believe that being a working mom and a stay at home mom are equally difficult and rewarding, in very different ways. At the end, we are all moms, trying to do the best we know how to, regardless of the path we take. We have the same mission of eternally loving and supporting our children, providing them best life we know how. That being said, I struggle each day with my own decision to work. Each day walking out the door to work, each time I travel, each night I come home distracted and overwhelmed from my day only thinking about tomorrows presentations, meetings and agendas – I struggle even more. I struggle that there are days when I walk through the door after work I feel like I have nothing left to give, knowing the most important of my day has just started. I’m exhausted. Mentally and physically exhausted. My heart strings get pulled tighter each day when I tuck Hannah into bed and she asks me why I work and her friends moms don’t. I get a lump in my throat each time I drop Drew off at daycare and he runs after me crying. I break down crying in my office when I realize I have an executive meeting at the same time as Hannah’s “muffins with mom” program for mother’s day at school. It makes me feel horrible, awful, and guilty as a mom. I question my priorities, my past and my future goals. I question what is important to me, and why. Yesterday I was talking to a neighbor who has two grown kids one out of college, and one that just started college. She was telling me how much she enjoys my kids and just loves to talk to them and see them grow up. She also went on to say how “well adjusted” our kids seem to our busy between work, travel and such. She was happy to see they are so out going, loving, and always ready to run up to her and her husband with hugs and cuddles. She told me that it showed what great parents we must be to balance it all and have such loving kids. I didn’t hear a thing she said at the time that was positive. My mind grasped onto the words “well adjusted” and wouldn’t let go of them. I stewed all night wondering - Is that the best we can do? Provide them a “well adjusted” life making sure they are part of the juggling act? I woke up today thinking about it differently. I focused on the positive. The positive being our kids, our family, even our dog that wears a diaper, are completely awesome. They are healthy, they are happy, they go to a great school, live in a wonderful neighborhood, have amazing friends, play all kinds of sports and participate in any and every activity they want - and mostly importantly - are loved by their mom, dad, grandparents, friends, teachers, nanny, aunt and uncles more than anyone I know. They have a happy life. We may not always be the best at balancing it all, there are not a lot of home cooked meals, and I am not exactly hooking Hannah up with many home made crafts from pinterest, but in the end, does that matter? Maybe it does, maybe it doesn’t. That is up to each person to decide on their own. But what matters to me is they are provided for, loved, healthy and happy. Whether that is accomplished by working in your home or working at an office shouldn’t make a bit of difference. Everyone that knows she well says they could never see me staying home with the kids. I used to take offense to that, was I interpreted as an unloving or unfit mom to do this full time? Now, I again, try to take the positive outlook as I get to know myself better each day. When people say that to me now, I just say … “you’re right, I’m a bad ass, I can do all” I can work by day, love my family by night, spend time with friends and family on weekends, and even sneak in a little tennis too  Ok, anyone that is reading this, and really knows me, knows I am kidding. But for real, I thrive on chaos, to do lists, urgency, stress, deadlines, and the ability to throw together a small kids pinterest like party in the midst of it all. Taking any little piece of that away from me ~ really, what would I do with myself? 